One Liners

Oscar Maldonado

Guru
Calendar Participant
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your penis?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) What are the three words that will ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed trick with a yeast infection.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
 

BIG HOUSE

DOG ONA DOG
Calendar Participant
:roll: :roll: :roll: Heres a couple funny p/u lines Q Do you wanna get a pizza and fu-- :spank: A what you don't like pizza How do you want your eggs in the morn scrambled or fertilized
 

Cutter

Well-Known Member
Oscar,
Those are some good ones...

Q)How do You know when Your Wife had really good sex the night before?
A)You wake up with that glazed look on YOUR face

-

Q)What does a woman say after rerally good sex?
A#1-you ask your buds)
Who Cares :job:

A#2-you ask the chump talking to the chick you are planning on tagging)
I didn't think so :spank:

A#3-you ask the chick you are planning on tagging)
I guess that will give us a reason replay the tape after we are done :yesnod: :SEX:

-

Big House,
I hope Cav aint getting his material from you... :rolleyes:
But every situation is different :cheers:
I truly believe that it is not what you say, but how you say it.

My favorite line that worked was:
Me:How 'bout I buy you a drink and you play sit 'n spin on my lap.
Holly Robinson Look Alike:What did you say :eek:
Me:Just kidding, I was really hoping you would buy me a drink... :spank: ...
 
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Oscar Maldonado

Guru
Calendar Participant
Oscar,
Those are some good ones...

Q)How do You know when Your Wife had really good sex the night before?
A)You wake up with that glazed look on YOUR face

-

Q)What does a woman say after rerally good sex?
A#1-you ask your buds)
Who Cares :job:

A#2-you ask the chump talking to the chick you are planning on tagging)
I didn't think so :spank:

A#3-you ask the chick you are planning on tagging)
I guess that will give us a reason replay the tape after we are done :yesnod: :SEX:

-

Big House,
I hope Cav aint getting his material from you... :rolleyes:
:roll: :roll: :roll:
 

Cutter

Well-Known Member
I heard a good one last night (poker table humor) during the HORSE tournament said to a guy who was very very low on chips and talking that "I am not out of this thing yet"...

Q)What is the worst thing to give a dying man?

A)Hope


The funniest part was the fact that the guy that said it ended up being the next one knocked out, and the "short stack" made an incredible comeback to win the tournament.
 
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jwoolf

Well-Known Member
why do bikers drag their women by the hair instead of the feet???
...
...
...
...
...
Because when you drag them by their feet, they fill up with dirt.
 
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